For exactly 94 days my life changed and became more still than I can ever remember. March 7, 2017 at 11:45am was the day I lost my job. I didn’t do anything wrong, nothing dramatic happened. It’s just the crazy world of working in college athletics doing everything but your team not winning enough games to keep your job. Since that day, March 7 the uncertainty of the future is something that has haunted me every day and every night.
My life went from a busy world of meetings, practices, phone calls, food orders, workouts, and running errands to a complete standstill. At first the break was nice, especially after a long draining basketball season of not only losing (a lot…) but, more so from everything that goes into the season. The early morning flights, bus rides, planning, organizing, and the final execution of making sure it all comes together smoothly. What could God possibly be trying to teach me?
Something I thought quietly to myself every single day.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take” Proverbs 3:5-6
Weekends and weekdays oddly ran together, without much to do each day felt the same, with no true difference from a Saturday to a Wednesday. Every day I woke up hopeful and optimistic that a breakthrough would happen for a new job, and for 94 days it didn’t happen and each day after, I closed my eyes and prayed that it the next day it would happen. Most days I didn’t even hear sound of my own voice until late in the afternoon. I sat in silence read my bible, prayed, wrote, reflected, listened to music, read, scanned the social media accounts, cried some even, napped…a lot, and visited numerous job boards online looking for a new one constantly refreshing the web browsers every 10 minutes. There were even a few times I didn’t even leave the house for 3 to 4 days in a row...pretty pathetic, trust me I know.
“So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today” Matthew 6:34
The scariest part was dealing with the uncertainty. Of what’s next, where you will be, if you will find a job, how the bills will get paid, will you ever be happy again among so many other thoughts. I questioned myself, my abilities, and even questioned God. Why. Why me? Why us? Why now? I was mad, angry, and bitter and for a while failed to see the bigger plan, and the bigger blessings God had for me.
There were plenty of jobs that I applied for, that I wanted, and that I knew I was going to at least get have the opportunity to interview with, but never even happened. For the longest time, I prayed for a job in Dallas to finally be close to my family. So, when I found job in the Dallas area in the sports digital media field, I know it would soon by mine. At that point I pretty much stopped looking for employment elsewhere because this opportunity seemed to perfect, and I knew God had it waiting for just for me.
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them” Romans 8:28
During this extended “time off,” I was forced to FROG (fully rely on God) more than ever before. Because of that when weeks went by I heard nothing from the “Dallas Dream Job,” the more I began to trust God and His plan, and forgo the plans I made for myself. I stopped feeling sorry for myself, wiped away my tears and just enjoyed life the way it’s meant to be. I went to the movies, to mall, to Cost-Co mid-week during lunch hours just to get free samples, and even got a new puppy(HARPER!!!). Fear of the unknown went out the window, and faith from above filled in my heart.
Little did I know this entire time God had big plans for me and a blessing that was He was saving just for me. It’s crazy sometimes how things work together and how fast they happen, which means it only happens by the power of God. It honestly feels like this new situation fell into my lap because it was His blessing for me. When things happen naturally without exhausting yourself, worrying and stressing over it, that’s how you know it is meant to be, for His purpose and something way greater than yourself.
And with that being said 94 days later…He came through like he always does. As hard as it was at times, I tried my best to stay true to his faithfulness and trust him with my life to overlook my mediocre plans and fulfill His. I Lost my job in March only to get a better opportunity 3 months later living in Houston, TX. The same city as one my very best friends since 7th grade with handful of other friends and family members, 3.5 hours away from my family in Dallas and most important exactly where God wants me to be.
Whatever it is you may be going through always stay faithful and continue to find His purpose for your life. Because at the end of the day his plans for your life will always be bigger and better than anything you could’ve ever imagined for yourself.